Thursday, June 16, 2011

"CORE" inside the SHELL

Well now I am on the verge of getting into 2nd year ( if I am able to clear this summer) . And yet again I am feeling the change. It’s the change of 1st yr to 2nd yr. when I started the college life I never knew that at the end of the 1st year all I will have is back in engineering drawing to show to the world. But its  just the shell . But the real game was being played inside that shell for that last year. Actually I was transforming infact transforming hard  ( and at enough pace that in the first year only I got to realize all this and know the irony of this change to get a pause or stop button  atleast some deceleration needed)    inside that shell.
Now I could stay sitting  ideally for hours and hours with no output at all..
Now I could indulge myself for hours with my friends and eventually at end concluding that virtually we discussed just nothing.. It was all scattered matter , arguments , discussions and net vector sum coming zero.
Now I could remain bookless for days , week s(unfortunately  not months as we have test every other month)

And many more such habits have been  inculcated inside me and continuously  filling this shell and making this more packed.  I had to think , in fact think hard when I was serious last time. Always having fun , talking nonsense , roaming everywhere with a deeply rooted headphones, beginning to lie  to parents , wasting all time , losing all concentration which can simply be defined as "LOSS OF PEACE OF MIND" to some   developed mind  .
 Basically this has been my story breaking parents expectations , wasting 1 year , my "intelligence", taking only wrong decisions infact lots of them and it worth proved to be a big difference ( atleast to the world)losing awareness, gaining laziness to the maximum.
But this has all happened inside that shell. But what many missed to see is the "CORE"  inside the shell , the "CORE" which with every new experience becoming more hard , tough . The "CORE" which with every new experience  becoming more dense and hence making me more wise and removing this ignorance while keeping my innocence. Trying to spark the responsiblity , confidence , awareness within me once again.
I admit I am becoming more lazy but I am also knowing that what are its consequences , I admit that I am taking so many wrong  decisions but I am also knowing how to tackle those wrong made decisions , I admit I am being deceived by many but I am also knowing who are good who can remain good and who can make me good. I admit that I I didn’t study this 1 year but then  also I came to know the real importance of academics and at the end if I would have not got back in drawing then I would never known what it takes to rise above normal...
So the question remains is  this shell really saying enough?. Perhaps no , not at all. Infact its far more deep , far more useful , far more significant to me and life. Thanks god for this wonderful  , loving , so enjoying , experienceful  and biggest of all giving me the wit to learn from all these and help me to  know its not going to be repeated, because I don’t like repeating (except repeating drawing one last time).

So it has not been the construction of this  shell  but the construction of this "CORE".


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