It didn’t happen in
a day . I am confident and if not its due to my weakness and I very well know
that if I am the only remote control of my happiness I can with dedicated
efforts make this venture feasible one .
And for this part I will not have to introduce a 3rd person or a god or an
almighty to make this possible for me.
If I am to build a 10 million dollar empire or create social equity in a
particular area with my work and if I am
determined for these then I may not be praying in front of god but relying all
upon my dedication and If I lose its my mistake.
And if I lose always
, still there's a hope within me because of only me that I can yet again bring a
change , rectify further my mistakes , learn from them and give a best shot in
next attempt.
Perhaps above
assumption were true only under one condition if I am the only "I" . But the problem is I am
bestowed with a wonderful family , best of the friends and few others as well
and remaining humanity as well. I ,
studying in nit Calicut 3000km away from parents suddenly hear a news flash "earthquake
of 7.2 rector scale hit the northern region of Bihar and some parts in west
Bengal" . Then my younger brother is almost at the stage of formal education breakdown . And then there is Mumbai 26th November grievous blast
revisited and so many.
I would have still
preferred to be an atheist if I had not have been emotionally connected to them
if the fear of death of my parents would not have shaken me a bit ,if the
sullen dark clouds overcastting the future of my brother would not have
bothered for me a second , if the deaths of thousands of humans would not have
appeared as my own loss for the moment at least.
And hence I am a theist for I need this virtual pillar to hold my hand amidst
all the troubles . I mean troubles which are out of my remote control . I cant
control the death of my parents during an earthquake , I cant tame my brother
to work sincerely for his future , I cant always stop the terrorist to enter my
country . And hence I need a pillar to support by , I need a word to chant ,
the unseen to whom I can pray when I am in despair when people I love are in
despair for I can control only mine .
May that be ,so
called god or almighty be the flask full
of my own faith or trust but being a theist only makes this flask visible .
And it will be too
arrogant of myself if I still give credit to the pillar or flask or the
god for only taking care of my loved once , and hence it makes me a complete
theist or at least till I find some other theory to defy this.
