In last 5 years since I have gained some sort of seriousness towards studies , career infact to myself the word "work " had become important for me. Of course most significant being during my preparation times for engineering entrance and few others being in college scattered in 4th and 6th semester . Sometimes I would be appreciated for my work or achievement making the greed for these praises to be inflated and gradually fuel for my work would shift from the purpose to these appreciation .Which I realized only lately, actually ended up diluting the honesty from my work and so the outcome .
And it is here where my teaching experience in village seem to be contradicting my previous concepts about work. Thanks to Anand bhaiya who coordinates "seva samarpan sansthan in UP" who gave me opportunity to meet many wonderful and socially active people. It is here I started getting a lot of appreciation and praises for my work , which I dont remember when I got this much last time!. And soon i realized that I was actually the buffalo who was being stimulated by the bell but I strictly following old hindi proverb (bhains ke aage been bajaane se kya fayda).
Yes , first time I realized these appreciations were not at all sticking to my identity perhaps making me feel unworthy of it. First time I realized I was actually drowned fully in my work and nothing else mattered. First time my sense started to rewind those "GITA's verse saying work is the sole purpose of human being".Perhaps teaching those kids out there was very close to my heart or whatever I know now finally what does it mean to work and yet be able to abstain myself from its result and appreciations because the moment these results and greed for appreciations creep into my work I find work to be slowly diluting and disintegrating and what remains is just me fighting for my own identity and not for the purpose or cause above all the "WORK".