WHEN U REALIZE THE PAIN AFTER MONTHS OF ITS IMPACT.............

    WELL its really strange , that after almost 9 months of jee shock...the disappointment of not getting into iits has  began hurting me... till sometime before, i had almost forgotten about this incidence. In fact after the result also, it never hurt me that much... i was pretty good at recovering myself from the shock very soon.
                  but now seeing my roommate preparing for jee and myself though wanting to give jee again , cant give.. has gradually   started to hurt me. whenever i see him solving sample jee paper, it reminds me back of my preparation days. When never in my dream i i could have thought of getting more then air 1000.. also knowing the place where i m in "nit calicut" is not of my type. Here like school u have write damn note, practical in copy , attend boring classes.. go behind pointers. study what u dont want and dont study what u want. and too much strictness.....   which i never had the habit of.
            well all these sometimes make me frustrated with nitc.. so may be if i would have been in  or be in iit then may there sitiuation would have been better. atleast students would bee more creative or professor would be more creative and more concerned towards interest based studies...
         all these resulting in loneliness , sometime even tears come when thinking of past.. but now i have no other means. i have to stay here. MAY be yet again god has better plans for me..i HOPE i understand his riddles... well i need to do this very soon else sands will slip of my hands.....i need to hold back it till find the golden pebble in it..
    Well i never thought of  doing jobs , placements.. I always had my side towards physics , some good social work to help others and rest traveling..... i want to do this much only .. for this i need to divert my focus from my past to future.
         HOPE I BECOME DETERMINED SOON ......................ITS NEVER TOO LATE TO BEGIN AND NEVER TOO LATE TO REALIZE FUTURE ALWAYS COMES AFTER PAST .. AND FUTURE AND PRESENT CAN ONLY HEAL PAST..
SO I M HERE TO DO IT.....GOD BLESS ME.. FRIENDS BLESSS ME.. READERS IF THERE ARE BLESS ME... PLZZZZ