Ignorance and not Innocense is ruining us...which we will never know unless something tragic happens to us because we are "HONEST IGNORANT CTIZENS"

Well yet again a serial blast , lives of 21 got the permanent pause and hundreds still praying for this "pause" to be temporary.
And the common response to these from those common people like me and you and all is , its really sad ,pathetic. Shit to Indian government , all politicians have yet again shown their level. they all are so mean , selfish. Opposition party started blaming the front. and another internal quarrel has begun instead searching for a remedy to this.
But the fact is we are safe na , we are yet healthy living so ("kya furk parta hai" attitude is still deeply rooted inside us) its just the superficial of ourselves getting into act with those verbal responses .well we all know thise very well. atleast 99.99% of us are like this only atleast i am. Because may be you all are very patriotic , but i am not and honestly saying  didnt even give the shit to this except for watching news few times just to know if this attack is going to break previous record in terms number of deaths.but as i am governed by spontaneity, intuition more so i just came across one of the  article "http://deepshikhabaisya.blogspot.com/2011/07/mumbai-blasted-yet-again.html" which made me to think atleast once on this and this time  for a longer period.
.Everything whether its the news of terror attack , cricket , movies , greenhouse effect , they all are means of passing of our time sometime those times are entertaining while watching movies , cricket and sometimes little thrilling its a terror attack in Mumbai and sometimes the means to do long discussions while in a train journey with basically no feel , heart for it.and sometimes (though rare) means of knowledge which again unfortunately only helps in cracking "UPSC" and winning "Kaun Banega Karorepati"
Are we really this much selfish , self centered that we remain ignorant of these qualities of ourselves till            unfortunately ( forever). We cant even pay tax honestly  though we are earning in crores . Well if we would have been even honestly selfish also then also scenario of of are country could have been pretty different. But the problem is we cant be honest ever and we are sick of being ignorant and fortunately this ignorance keeps always ignorant so atleast we dont have ever the feel of any guilt and so live a pretty confident life

                          Even if everyone would have been taking what's his or her only , even if each one of us would have peen paying tax , even if all of us taking care of just our health , education well, we would not have been living in still 1947.
As said its never too late to begin ( how many times more we have to say this) atleast we can ask ourselves to be honestly selfish , atleast we can perform all our duties honestly  Atleast !!!. We are not ought to take care of those millions dying everyday of poverty , illiteracy , natural disasters , terror attacks . Perhaps atleast this generation of India has not got the heart for it including me. but we can do atleast this much atleast think for ourselves. Atleast !!!. Atleast we can dream to be big , and whatever we do,  we can do atleast with 75% honesty . Atleast we can care , love ourselves with a broader vision.
Well we can do this much i know , each of us can do this much .and i know we all will be able to do. god bless india , you me and everyone...

And I am crying and suddenly confused for why i am crying……….

                                

Well its strange na infact pretty strange , sometimes I just  start crying spontaneously and then while I am in the midst of this cry I get confused why I am crying.. isn’t it madness or very weirdly strange. Its not that I am always crying neither crying always without reasons ( better will be to say crying with the reason which my consciousness is unaware of) . just like now. 

I began writing this post because as I was  listening  to one the songs (from yes boss “ek din aap”)  suddenly I felt like crying and in seconds eyes got wet. But  one thing which I am assure is ,  while I was crying (till few minutes ago) what I noticed was that I was not at all sad means there was no sign of grief atleast  my consciousness couldn’t remind me of that. Infact I felt better and fresh ( as last few days had been destructively bad for me ,  so these sudden tonics means a lot to me and I just don’t want to escape these rare drops of freshness and feel good factors and sharing with you all just extend this process a little longer so that I can be in this state a little longer as well and may be after that as well) and this is my current status as well.  

Well  I have got loads of reasons to cry infact everyone of us have, just the matter of putting on the desired switch. But what bewilders me,  this whole makes me even more fresh , and installs this feel good factor once again within me.

I know all these seem so out of blue and weird .But what can I do if all these happens with me ( well it happens with everyone , everyone has got so many differences in them ,its jus that some are more exposed and some a little less , both being equally correct) and I just can’t be away from expressing it. :):):):):):)

From a larger scale all odds and even , success and failure , troughs and crest, all seems same …..

Hmm may be 20 years or 30 years hence when I look upon my back the span of 40 or 50 years what will there be. Will it be the failure in jee or will it be the joy of getting into physics olympiad , will it be the paper back in engineering drawing or will it be the joy of getting 4653 in aieee (though it could have been much much better). Will it be serious fight

with one of my friend or will it be the wonderful adventurous trip to wayanaad with the army of 12 of us. Will it be long wait of call from my parents 1000s of mile away for 2 weeks or the classic sudden unplanned trip to cochin without informing anyone. Will it be long harsh demoralizing deadly scolding of papa or the still audible sweetest voice of the one.

Once I happened to be in hanuman temple near Patna Station with my best friend anurag basant. We were on the floor , looking down anurag said "ashish can you see the beautiful symmetry in such a complicated crowd full of so many diverse category of people , vehicles , building , roads . They all looking so much disordered when you are there right in the centre of crowd.. But all those seem to have some degree of symmetry when looking from here. Infact the farther you go , you can observe the greater symmetry." and today I just happened to first time realize it on my own and really this is one the most beautiful things which nature has to offer us. I am looking at the stars billions of kilometers away and they look so beautiful , I am at the sea beach the farthest of the region looks the most elegant , sitting near the window in a train the distant mountains and trees on it all those look so eyes capturing. And again the list goes on.

So is my life ( seeing from a optimistic eyes) full of these successes and failures , joys and sorrow , meets and leaving , love and pain , wins and losses , ups and highs , baldness and bald hair ,truth and lies and so… but is this only because I am seeing it all with my near eyes and frame. What if after 20 or 30 years these all seem a symmetrical pattern just like the disordered crowd looking somewhat beautiful and symmetrical when seen from some distance. Are these so many pairs just making life more wonderful , beautiful ,symmetrical and being in the resonance with the nature. Again seeing with the optimistic eyes, these all seem so beautiful. So why to worry , why to be ashamed , why to be suppressed , why to be dumb , why to be action less , why to fear , why not to fail , why not to fight . So let me be as unsymmetrical as I can now for it to become as symmetrical 30 or 40 years hence.