Nostalgia and its repercussions

It can start with old photos , revisiting schools , colleges , old home etc. Strangest things begin to happen when you are submerged into nostalgic feelings. You feel the possibility to touch your past yet it  forever goes tangentially just like the blow of wind  . And if you are unfortunate enough to listen to some soothing or similar kind of music at the same time you will go only deeper into the ocean and yet will remain enough far from reliving those experience. But these nostalgic moments does much more, if for a while we forget our present and allow ourselves to fall freely into this ocean. And then we observe the change we have been , so much things should have been retained with us but they all or few have been lost during the journey from past to present. Rhetoric  it may sound ,nostalgia  reminds us of few things we just need to grab it immediately from the past.   Whether it was to smile for no reasons , care freely laughing like mad , making friends without any boundaries , fearlessness , being oblivion to disrespect and dishonor and above all being happy for no reasons or perhaps microscopic reasons. Each of us have so many things to take back from the few minutes  of nostalgia . (Taking assumption that each has some imperfection)

Longest journey till now

Last time I had a trip to Bangalore for 1 week and I thought I had a journey.  I spent a month in village teaching kids and I thought I had a journey . I spent a fortnight trying to aware the villagers for education and I thought that I had a journey. Well now I have completed my engineering  though in minimum time of  4 years , my mind and memory still looks too small to create a thought out of the vast ocean of experiences in last  4 years. But thanks to god I have this alternative (always trying to respond ) to cry out aloud but the mind always controlled it.

Now keeping the mind aside for sometime , Yes my soul can feel last 4 years , in fact the every pieces of mine has last  4 years  strongly imbibed in it.  Friends who have seen me  4 years before and now , they can tell in one scan I carry all those  4 years without any overflows or ambiguity .  And that’s why I feel achieved more when I represent and live those experiences than a job which I got here.

And equally important had been the acquaintance with so many different kinds of people from all corners of the country. And yes like any one of you initially I made 20 best friends then fought with couple of them and then again made up with them and then again fought them and finally before leaving could filter few friends who can be there for lifetime , some for may be little less and some whom you don’t want to remember ever (but you never know when your soul defeats your mind and you accept every one ).

Whether it was getting too much personal  ( liking sharing room , cloths etc . ) , falling for a girls or many , argument with father ( showing I am growing ) , fear of failure or perhaps a fail in engineering drawing , rejection experience in a campus interview , walking lonely after a fight with friend, sometimes too much thinking about the future , or feeling amused thinking that there can be this kind of a guy as well , insulted by a girl whom I propose , or viral laziness across the whole hostel , nocturnal gossips , sticking all day to laptops  etc . 

Everyone has his/her share of adequate experiences , and mostly chances are it makes us atleast an inch better than we commenced our college. But happiness lies in understanding and letting it know to each of our cells and dna that life will always move on , friends who are best now may become stranger , job which looks dream now may become cause of the worry , or in a more positive way friends who are on lighter side may become closer , less paid job may become heaven . Change will come , everything will change ,places , people , best friends , love , dreams. But one thing I hope is , let  all these  changes be in symphony with the experiences I had  and let alarm bell always keep reminding us that this mistake shouldn’t be repeated. And above all last 4 years will be perhaps by written in the boldest format and yes nostalgia will again make me cry.

truth - as I try to find and then lose it....

I have realized lately , the most difficult task for me to decide is which group I belong. Even a  bigger challenge remains to keep myself unbiased of so many things happening around and to know why I need a group to prove my truth

. The more I think I am unbiased about my choice the more biased views seem to become. I am 22 now and already have seen so many different genres of thoughts and ideology . Recent elections and dramatic rise of AAP has suddenly created new waves of thought. But quicker are the people who already know which poles they belong to. And I am very well part of that magnet and certainly not the one whose thoughts changes but  rather looks for those evidence which only makes my decision to chose a particular pole even stronger without ever trying to look how world looks from the opposite side.

Consequently  we have people who talk to us  good on our face but in their mind they had already assigned us the particular location. The biggest of challenge for our country is not the universal acceptance of secularism but the challenge to know the real truth which already has the previous criteria imbibed in it.  And same is with me. And hence is my challenge to break this cage.

Inspired by Gandhi's talisman of introspection leaves me sometimes in even wider range of doubts.

But atleast one thing is very clear , truth is one of the toughest thing to discover for me. Truth ,  atleast to me ,don’t seem to come spontaneously may be because my subconscious is too much damaged by deliberate biased thoughts of surroundings. Truth still seems a distant destination for me , searching truth may perhaps make me break my own glass keeping pillars of thoughts stacked on each other since last 22 years. Ofcourse some of those pieces of truth might be correct but for a stack to function they have to be aligned correctly.

Which again leads me to believe even more strongly in god because he is the only bridge between me and truth . And somewhere I have read hope never lets you down . And I will keep questioning my truth and at the same time my partial biased flickering mind will keep saying wrong words. But I assure you they will be more refined then yesterday.

hope to me

Hope to me is , dry lake  waiting for the rain , 

snowy mountain waiting summer to arrive

Flowers waiting for the sun to spread its petals

Love waiting for the words , words waiting to be said

Child in the fetus waiting to come into the world

child hoping to become a man