Saturday, January 14, 2012

They just don’t exist

The world and I am the only one

The trees , the sea , the mountains , the clouds , the moon
And am the only one walking , jumping , dancing , laughing, singing

The winter ,the summer , the spring , the rain 
Am the only one shivering , wetting , sweating

The jesus , the allah , the vishnu , the amma
I am the only one praying , beseeching ,wishing

The love , the beauty , the perfection , the kindness , the passion ,
I am the only one loving , staring , becoming , bestowing , living

The world and I am the only one.

The music , the words , the painting , the books
I am the only one listening  , speaking , drawing , reading.

The mum , the dad , the brother , the sister , the friends , the special friends
But I am the only one loving  ,embracing , hugging .

The fear , the hatred , the jealousy , the sex , the death
But I am the only one hating , envying , longing sex , dying.

The men , women , children , the old , the all
And I am the only one living because "THEY JUST DON’T EXIST "

The world and I am the only one.

what i actually meant ..that is y i was till now not able to give my 100% coz of fear , what others think , criticism , hypocrisy y not let i  live as if they just dont exist
The "topic " is inspired by the words of a great architectural engineer Krishna Rao  jaisim during his conversation with deepraj jha.  Word was "they just don’t exist"

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Greatest illusion-time

    I tried to remember if is this my 1st new year celebration here at NITC ,then I shook my head  , went through my college pics and soon I got convinced I was once again beaten up by the pace and nature time and once again time made me to affirm my views about its most illusionistic behavior.

Thanks to the "change "  because it only makes me realize this time exists  and thanks to the nature for it always changes without ever turning back. 

Sunday, January 8, 2012

My discovery with ocean

Ocean where I realize infinity does exist
Ocean where I am hinted of my limitation
Ocean where opened eyes gives more  relaxation then being closed
Ocean where I discover music in the midst of the noise
Ocean where i dare to see  sky in my reach 
Ocean where i discover success need not be always attributed to how high you fly rather how deep you are
Ocean where I recognize the boon , even in being solitary
Ocean where i realize the depth within and depth outside
Ocean where i smell the odorless
Ocean where i find concept of time fake
Ocean where I see the narrow lining binding and yet separating life and death
Ocean where I wish to ,love to , cherish to go again
Ocean "a heaven in disguise"………………………….

Monday, January 2, 2012

31st december "AN EXPERIENCE"

Woke up late but was fortunate enough to get my token as g2 ( thanks to the distributer )soon my chance to get "amma darshan" came there .I was  on the stage sitting on the chair and in just few minutes  I would be getting the hug of the beloved of many amma. But till now I didn’t get any special feel .though  I knew she is a great spiritualist but rarely that word was  fully grasped by my intellect or consciousness. Well I had heard all start crying just before meeting amma atleast they cry while being hugged but till now I could find no symptoms of my tears. Then suddenly something got triggered  and I begin concentrating , recapitulating all my weakness and sometimes when I become so desperate with them.  I started praying for these weakness to die away as I get closer to my amma darshan or her hug.  Finally I had my hug , I told my weakness but I don’t know what she did reply but instead I  got  to know I had fever , which surprisingly started just after I got this message atleast I felt like so.
Then just before leaving this place I met this brazillian guy who seemed to be lost into meditation and when I checked him up he had tears in his eyes and he seemed a lot tensed then on asking his story he told he came here with his sister and wanted meet amma as he had heard lot about her . He said he was fed up of always partying , drinking and taking drugs on smallest of the occasions so this time he thought to chose the difference. He had been to "wrishikesh"  and "dharmshala " before.
And then came the time for me to leave to my alma matter nitc. But suddenly I didn’t know this would be the answer to my first weakness which soon I understood , I almost had put my steps into bus (the last bus to nitc) then I thought 31st december on the bus will be so horrible ,  and hope of someone that I may see again and this time surely will say the words kept me alive and put my  steps back . I even tried searching that one  for the while and was almost firmed to talk this time.  Unfortunately till now no signs of that someone. Still these things happens and  I didn’t know that these incidences will help me reveal my answers which were buried for years. What a unique way . That’s the positive aspect of visiting these places ( though I landed up here accidently with purely other intentions). Feeling awesome , felt music of my heart (laughter) like never before  had dj like never where we danced for ourselves in pure consciousness not to show and in semi conscious state. And I had never done this , sat at  stretch of almost 4 hours with slightest of the movements and slightest of alien thoughts coming into my mind.
And here again unexpected made my day memorable , a day to cherish for life time , a new year celebration I shall never forget and hopefully next year again I come here to dance to sing to  enjoy to live the moment.