sometimes when i become too expressive and when matters the most i am dumb

Where to start, now i am bored of writing same emotional stuffs here. But this is how i am feeling now. Sometimes too expressive sometimes dumb. my mum knows this , my pops , didi , manish , nani , anurag , kishu ,and some more knows this and still they love me because they know ashish is not bad. they teach me to overcome this but never discard me atleast till.now. beacause this is love and the only love. And this love is what that is till keeping our universe in a state of equilibrium. And may be i am again becoming too expressive but this is what i am.and u cant have motherhood , brotherhood , friendship without love. so without love its better to be stranger then to disguise oneself and hurting someone.but when love is there u cant be hurt...
and for the case of dumbness list just goes on............when i wanted to hug my mom while she was crying for me , i remained dumb , when i had to say sorry to di i remained dumb , when i had to say wonderful anurag , jha i remained dumb..its strange for me i just cant say someone love u , hug u , in front of the person and also fail to praise also in front him... but now i am learning i guess.. learning a lot especially from deepraj to praise someone and its really a wonderful act when u forget ur pride , ego for a while and try to see the qualities of other person.. the same with my best friend anurag , he used to praise me a lot even after solving small and a bit twisted problem which just used to keep me motivated for the whole day. and i always failed to praise all these people and more though they deserve a lot more.

hmm am learning each day , each new experience giving me a lesson and i am so glad that the wisdom of catching smal small lessons from these difficult experiences has suddenly sparked within me.. hope i go on with this...............